Frog Kissin’

An old tale that we’ve all forgotten about.
Adapted by Fr. Joseph K. Horn

You know how we are told to love everybody? Well, one of the things we priests hear a lot is, “Father, my mother-in-law is a pain in the neck!” or “Father, my husband drives me crazy!” to which I used to always say, “Try to see Jesus in them,” to which they’d reply, “Ha! Easy for you to say! You don’t know my mother-in-law! She tries her best to be unloveable!” Which, I must confess, left me speechless; how does one go about seeing Jesus in people who seem hell-bent on not being like Jesus?

A few years ago, the answer came to me, believe it or not, while listening to a song written by "Buddy" Kalb and sung by Chet Atkins and Ray Stevens. (Right-click here and select “Save Target As” to download a 4.27 MB MP3 version of their recording.) I was at once delighted and humiliated, because the song tells a story that we all heard when we were little children. We should all already know the answer to that difficult question; we should already know how to love unloveable people, because we learned it when we were kids:

Do you remember in the fairy tale
How the wicked witch’s spell
    Changed the handsome prince to a toad?
Through the power of her potion,
She handed him the notion
    That he was lower than the dirt in the road.
And though she left him green and warted,
Her evil plan was thwarted
    When there chanced to happen by a young miss
Who, in spite of his complexion,
Offered her affection
    And broke the wicked curse with her kiss.

Well, if you’ve never been a-frog kissin’
Then you don’t know whatcha been missin’!
    There’s a world of opportunity
    Under each and every log!
If you’ve never been a charm breaker,
And if you’ve never been a handsome-prince maker,
    Then slow down, turn around,
    Bend down, and kiss you a frog!

Once upon a time ago,
I was down and feelin’ low
    Like a lonely frog in a pond.
Life was just a joke, ’n’
I was very near a-croakin’
    I was zapped by life’s wicked wand.
But in the depths of my depression
There came a true expression
    Of love from a lady so sweet;
She gave me warm fuzzy feelin’s,
Feelin’s that were healin’,
    And knocked me off my little webbed feet!

Well, if you’ve never been a-frog kissin’
Then you don’t know whatcha been missin’!
    There’s a world of opportunity
    Under each and every log!
If you’ve never been a charm breaker,
And if you’ve never been a handsome-prince maker,
    Then slow down, turn around,
    Bend down, and kiss you a frog!

There is a happy-ever-after land
Deep in the heart of man
    Where a prince or princess abides,
But all we get are glimpses
Of that handsome prince or princess,
    ’Cause they’re covered by a green, warty hide.
And though they’re full of life’s potential,
They’re lacking one essential
    To enable them to shine like a star,
And that’s to have some guy or missis
Smother them with kisses
    And love them while they’re just like they are.

And that’s the secret of frog kissin’
And you can do it too if you’ll just listen:
    Just slow down, turn around,
    Bend down, and kiss you a frog!

It’s a story we have all known since we were children, but we have forgotten the moral of the story! Ladies and gentlemen, how many kisses did it take to turn that frog into a prince? Just one! How many people walked by that frog and heard it say, “Kiss me! I’m a prince!” and replied, “Yeah, right! You’re a frog! I’m not gonna kiss any frog! Prob’ly get warts on my lips! Bleh!”

But one princess saw the potential in that frog! She saw that that unloveable frog had a hidden loveable side, and the moment she expressed her love for him, BANG, the magic happened!

Well, guess what! The same thing is true of that unloveable person in your life! You are not the only person who finds them unloveable! Everybody walks by that frog and has the same reaction that you do! And that poor cursed soul is dying to have somebody, anybody, show just one little sign of affection. As Christians, it is not only our duty to love our enemies, but we can even love the unloveable curmudgeons and empower them to shine forth their hidden loveableness!

And that’s the secret of seeing Jesus in everybody! When you slow down, turn around, bend down, and kiss the frogs in your life, you will work magic far greater than merely revealing a handsome prince: you will see in them Jesus Christ our King!