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What I Really Need To Be Happy

Fr. Joseph K. Horn
(A Retelling of an Old Story)
18 February 1996
St Barbara’s Parish
Santa Ana, CA

Once upon a time there was a poor fisherman who lived with his wife Alice in a poor little shack by the sea. One day the fisherman caught a big fish, but when he landed it, he was surprised to hear the fish say, “Please let me live. I am not really a fish. I am a magician. Put me back in the water and let me go.”

The fisherman was so startled to hear a fish talk that he put it back in the water, and it swam away.

When he went home to his poor little shack, the fisherman said to his wife, “Alice, you should have seen the fish I caught today! It spoke to me! It said it was a magician, so I let it go!”

“Did you ask it for anything?” said his wife.

“No,” replied the fisherman. “What should I have asked for?”

“What should you have asked for!?!” exclaimed his wife. “You’re acting like we have everything we want! Look around you! Isn’t this a pathetic little shack we live in? Go back and tell the fish to give us a beautiful house!”

The fisherman didn’t want to, but he went back to the sea and called out, “Oh man of the sea! Come listen to me! For Alice my wife, the love of my life, has sent me to beg a gift of thee!”

The fish swam up to him and said, “Well, what does she want?”

“My wife says that when I caught you I should have asked for something before letting you go. She doesn’t like our poor little shack. She wants a beautiful house.”

“Go home,” said the fish. “She is in the house she wants already.”

The fisherman went home and found his wife standing in the doorway of a splendid house, with a big yard and a garden. “How happy we will be now!” exclaimed the fisherman.

“We’ll see about that,” said his wife. The next day, she said to him, “There is not enough room in this house! Go back and tell the fish to give us a castle to live in!”

The fisherman didn’t want to, but he went back to the sea and called out, “Oh man of the sea! Come listen to me! For Alice my wife, the love of my life, has sent me to beg a gift of thee!”

The fish swam up to him and said, “Well, what does she want now?”

“My wife wants to live in a castle,” said the fisherman.

“Go home,” said the fish. “She is in the castle already.”

The fisherman went home and found his wife standing at the entrance of a huge castle, filled with precious art and furniture, and surrounded by a moat and a forest. “How happy we will be now!” exclaimed the fisherman.

“We’ll see about that,” said his wife. The next day, she said to him, “As long as we live in a castle, we should be royalty! We should be king and queen of the land!”

“Why should we wish to be king and queen?” said the fisherman, perplexed. “I would not want to be king even if I could be.”

“Well, I want to be queen! Go back and tell the fish to make me the queen!”

The fisherman didn’t want to, but he went back to the sea and called out, “Oh man of the sea! Come listen to me! For Alice my wife, the love of my life, has sent me to beg a gift of thee!”

The fish swam up to him and said, “Well, what does she want now?”

“I’m sorry, but my wife wants to be queen.”

“Go home,” said the fish. “She is queen already.”

The fisherman went home and found his wife sitting on a throne in a huge palace with soldiers and guards. He heard the sound of trumpets and drums, and saw that his wife was wearing a gold crown on her head and was surrounded by servants. “How happy we will be now!” exclaimed the fisherman.

“We’ll see about that,” said his wife. The next day, she said to him, “I’m tired of being queen! I think I’d like to be pope!”

“Pope? Pope!?!” said the fisherman. “There is only one pope in all of Christendom! You can’t be pope!”

“I am queen, and I command you, fisherman, to go and tell the fish to make me pope!”

“Alice,” cried the fisherman, “the fish cannot make you pope, and I would not like to ask for such a thing!”

“Nonsense!” said his wife. “If it can make me a queen, it can make me a pope! Now go!”

The fisherman didn’t want to, but he went back to the sea and called out, “Oh man of the sea! Come listen to me! For Alice my wife, the... love... of my life, has sent me to beg a gift of thee!”

The fish swam up to him and said, “Well, what does she want now?”

“I’m really sorry, but my wife wants to be... pope!”

“Go home,” said the fish. “She is pope already.”

The fisherman went home and found his wife sitting on a huge throne wearing an enormous tiara, surrounded by an immense cathedral and thousands of candles burning and hundreds of monks chanting psalms. “You are pope, Alice! There is nothing greater in the world! How happy we will be now!” exclaimed the fisherman.

“We’ll see about that,” said his wife. And that night, she didn’t sleep at all because she was trying to think of something greater than being pope. When morning broke, she became angry, because she still hadn’t thought of what she should be next. “I could have gone on thinking, except the sun came up and bothered me!” she said. “What good is it to be pope if I still have to obey the sun? Why can’t I prevent the sun from rising? Go back and tell the fish that I want to be the lord of the sun and the moon!”

The fisherman went pale with fear. “Alice, Alice; can you not be content with what you have? I am afraid of what the fish will do if I ask for this!”

“Don’t be such a sniveling coward!” shouted his wife. “I cannot bear to see the sun and moon rise without my permission! Go back and tell the fish that what I really need to be happy is to be lord of the sun and the moon! Now go!”

The fisherman didn’t want to, but he went back to the sea and called out, “Oh man of the sea! Come listen to me! For Alice my wife, the... the... plague of my life, has sent me to beg a gift of thee!”

The fish swam up to him and said, “Well, what does she want now?”

“She says what she really needs to be happy is to be lord of the sun and the moon.”

“Go home,” said the fish. “She has what she needs to be happy already.” And the fish swam away, never to return.

The fisherman went home and found the cathedral gone, the palace gone, the castle gone, the beautiful house gone. His wife, looking very puzzled, was standing in the humble doorway of their poor little shack again, where they live to this day, learning to be happy with what they have already.


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