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Note from Joe: This of course is a parody on Kipling’s poem "If—".

Copyright 1994 by Frank Jacobs. All rights reserved. Read more acerbic parodies by Frank Jacobs in Pitiless Parodies and Other Outrageous Verse. Foreward by Martin Gardner. Great book. Buy it.

Note from Joe: I read the above poem for the first time last night. It tickled me, because as a child I loved Kipling’s poem "If—", and one of my own first attempts at poetry was also a parody on it. For archival purposes only, here’s my parody. It shows the way my brain worked ’way back when I was a high school student. I’m afraid that back then I was much smarter than I am now.


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